Abusive Relationships: Their True Toll



Relationships are the bonds that we willfully create to connect to those around us, but how do we determine when those bonds are no longer healthy for us? Any healthy relationship whether it is parental, sibling, friendship or romantic should revolve around respect and trust for the other person.  Consideration for the other parties emotions should always be a priority and a sense of safety and comfort should resonate deep within each individual’s soul to truly reflect their unbreakable link. Unfortunately as human beings sometimes we get lost in the illusion of true happiness and need to be reminded when certain relationships are going down-hill and need to be re-evaluated.  The following are a list of warning signs of abuse taking place in a relationship whether it is physical, emotional or sexual:

  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Possessiveness
  • Short or quick tempered
  • Invasion of privacy (checking your cellular device or emails without permission)
  • False reality (making up stories that aren’t true and dwelling on them)
  • Isolation
  • Using physical violence
  • Tearing someone down (bullying or humiliating)

Many individuals whom have never suffered through an abusive relationship do understand the extreme toll that it can take on one’s physical and emotional/ mental health and why these individual can’t just separate themselves from the abuse. There are several reasons why both men and women choose to stay in these unhealthy relationships and are listed below:

  • Fear (what the other person will do)
  • Social Pressure (what others may think)
  • Low self esteem (what if they will never find some else)
  • Monetary fund’s (what if they can’t afford to make it on their own)
  • Love (what if this is a false pretence of what love is supposed to be)
  • Disability (what if the other person is dependent on the other due to a disability)

The best thing to do if you or someone you know finds himself/ herself in a relationship of abusive caliber is to realize that you have options. You can either confide in a trusted companion that should welcome you with open arms and supply a support system to listen to you without judgment. You should also consider seeking solace and comfort in a professional counselor or therapist to give you a second opinion and  to help you take the appropriate measure to change the direction of the relationship or find ways to escape the negativism and put a more positive foot forward towards your future.

“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”

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